When Will We Stop Hating on Women for Simply Existing?

Art credit to Hiba Schahbaz

Recently I have been perusing social media, nothing new, and people have been putting their two cents in on the topic of Meghan Markle and what Jeremy Clarkson has said about her online. This got me thinking about why some men have gotten so angry over the simple existence of certain women. Following this, I talked to my lovely friends over at Word Tonic and they inspired me to make a post discussing it.

So if you're out of the loop, I'll catch you up!

A column post by Jeremy Clarkson from The Sun recently resurfaced, where he simply berates Meghan Markle for... nothing really? He previously shared his disgust over her supposedly controlling Prince Harry, but when haven't you heard a white CISHET man share that he thinks a woman is manipulating another man with no reason to believe it?

The column post shared:

"I hate her. Not like I hate Nicola Sturgeon or Rose West. I hate her on a cellular level. At night, I’m unable to sleep as I lie there, grinding my teeth and dreaming of the day when she is made to parade naked through the streets of every town in Britain while the crowds chant, 'Shame!' and throw lumps of excrement at her."

Clarkson basically states that his hatred of Markle is stronger than his of Rose West, an English serial killer who killed at least 9 women AND her own stepdaughter. To state that his hatred for her is stronger than a serial killer and that he wished for her to be publicly humiliated in that way is shocking and disgusting, and despite it being for shock value and to get people talking, it doesn't excuse the blatant misogyny written all over his face.

His apology didn't save him much either, he stated that it had "gone down badly", and was a "clumsy reference" are you apologising for saying it or apologising that people took offence?

After thinking on this for a while, I wondered about what women would have to do to not be hated by men, but shortly afterwards it struck me that there isn't much we can do, which brings me onto my next topic...

Can't we just let women enjoy their own things?

My asking if we can just let women enjoy things sounds simple, but it seems that no matter what we do as women and fem-presenting people, there's always something to be said by the opposite gender. In primary school, girls are shunned for liking the colour pink, people (mostly boys) would call it gross. Did you ever have an 'I'm not like other girls' phase? Because God forbid you liked something that seemed feminine.

The Hormona Team wrote an article furthering this discussion and how it interlinks with internalised misogyny, I highly recommend you check it out here!

It seems that no matter what we do, we will be hated on it- it is very prominent in the discussion of clothing. You dress too conservatively? you're a 'prude', you dress too revealing? you're a 'slut'. There really is no winning and it seems that whatever we do, men will still find something to complain about. They want a strong independent woman that can do well by herself, but will be threatened if she's more successful than him. There are so many other examples too...

In high school, so many passive-sounding sexist slurs were thrown around. Remember when being a feminist apparently meant you hated men? Wait... some people still think that. The term 'pick-me' became very overused and the not like other girls thing is still going on, just have a look at the subreddit...

Anyway...

It's hard to end off an upsetting article topic in a positive light, so I will leave with a few words. Despite the fact we can't do anything without upsetting men, that shouldn't stop us. Misogynists will always find something in women and fem-presenting folk to complain about. Also don't try and conform to what those men want, they'll never be content and neither will you. Do things for yourself and try and unlearn the male gaze! Just see how Drew Afualo uses all the petty criticism these men give her to empower herself, she's doing fantastically!

As always, see you next time, M:)